Handyman Keitaro
by Hawk
Summary: What if Keitaro was kicked out of his parents place earlier, back when the Hinata Sou was still an inn and Grandma Hina still ran the place?
1. One

Handyman Keitaro PG-13  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson 

Summary: What if Keitaro was kicked out of his parents place earlier, back when the Hinata Sou was still an inn and Grandma Hina still ran the place?

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Ranting, raving and random mutterings 

The first chapter is a bit fast-paced, as it basically just shows the first arrival of the various tenants and a brief appearance by Shinobu, skipping the bits in between and is just to set the board, until the real game begins in the following chapters. So please, bear with me, as the regular tomfoolery and my usual writing quality doesn't really come into play until the next chapter.

As I know the questions of pairings usually come up pretty darn quickly, I figured I'd head you guys off at the pass and launch a pre-emptive strike, letting you guys know that there currently aren't any planned. I guess we'll have to find out together what my demented mind cooks up further down the road. :D

Though I still haven't written a Keitaro/Kentaro pairing yet...

Heh, naw, I think I'll leave that one to the people who insist on littering the Hikaru no Go, Initial D, Naruto and Prince of Tennis categories with an excessive amount of weird pairings. Not that I don't read them, because I occasionally do, hoping to find a gem amongst all that dung. But I just don't think that I can write a very believable one myself. Not that this seem to prevent others from posting stuff even less credible then what I believe myself capable of cooking up... Previously straight people seem to turn favourably inclined to same-gender-relationships at the drop of a hat in most of the ones I've read, sometimes never even hesitating to jump into bed with a former enemy!

I would really like to read a believable Naruto/Gaara story, a great Sasuke/Itachi fic or an awesome Naruto/Orochimaru epos. Because to make such a thing credible, there has to be some truly awesome writing involved and I'm always eager to have a looksie at that!

Not that I consider my own stuff very credible either, but after reading the Keitaro/Haruka scene in MwP, I'm sure that this doesn't come as a surprise to anyone reading this. ;D Though I personally find myself slightly surprised at the amount of reviews complimenting me for keeping people in character considering the situations I keep throwing them into, as I constantly grumble over how out of character I think everybody behaves in my fics. :)

Anyways, this fic is definitively AU and starts off right after Keitaro announces his decision to exclusively aim for Todai to his parents, predating a whole bunch of stuff in the anime/manga. None of the current tenants have arrived at the Hinata Sou yet ( Though this will change pretty dang quickly! ), the Hinata Sou is still an inn at the beginning, Naru and Kitsune haven't met Seta yet, Grandma Hina isn't travelling the world with Kanako and what d'ya know, everybody is three years younger then in canon.

Roll credits 

* * *

Chapter One:

"That's quite the story, sonny." Hina said, sipping from her tea and shaking her head with disapproval. "Your mom always did have a bit of a temper." she commented diplomatically. "But this..." she finished, wondering where things had gone wrong. She had always had confidence in her own kids, supporting them in whatever they wanted to do. So kicking poor Keitaro out, because he refused to apply for anything else then Tokyo University, didn't sit right with her. Sure it would be hard for someone with his grades to actually make it, but to refuse to even give him the chance to do so...

No, she couldn't understand it. And she certainly couldn't understand why her son hadn't protested against it! Sure, he'd always been a bit whipped by his more forceful wife, but she would have figured that this was one issue where he would have stood up for himself and his son against her.

"Well, I guess I can let you stay here, if you help out around the place. Business has been slow lately, but if you help out a few hours a day, I could save some money by letting one of my employees go." Hina said which caused Keitaro to relax and smile happily for a few moments, before her statement fully sunk in.

"Fire... Grandma... No. No, I couldn't... Not if it costs someone their job!" Keitaro protested.

"If business doesn't improve, I'll have to let them all go." Hina sighed. "This way, I can keep the place running and only have to fire one person to do it. Besides, the one I have in mind is a lazy bum anyway."

"But..." Keitaro started, then fell silent as he contemplated the situation. Getting somebody fired wasn't something he was all that comfortable with, but if it helped to save the jobs of the others and got him a place to stay at the same time... Finally, he accepted it with a heavy heart, nodding his agreement.

"Excellent." Hina approved. "You can have the room above mine. It's a bit run-down at the moment, but I figure you can get some practise by fixing it up and at the same time, do whatever personalization's you want to it. You can stay in any of the spare rooms while you're working on yours."

And that was how it started.

The current handyman, a disreputable bum by the name of Konno Nanjiro, was laid off the following day and Keitaro took his place. He soon discovered a faint talent for carpentry, which came in handy around the run-down inn. Plumbing was harder, but he soon got the hang of that too. After being sent on a course which Hina paid, he learned the electrical bits as well and got started on renewing the run-down electrical wires around the place, taking the opportunity to lay down optical fibre for a local network at the same time. While there was little use for it at the moment, it could probably come in handy sometime in the future.

As the state of the inn improved, thanks to Keitaro's constant tinkering about the place, Hina got more time to spare and laid off the cook as well. Instead she assumed that chore herself, lessening her own workload by putting more responsibility on Keitaro's shoulders. Business didn't improve much however and eventually, even more people had to be laid off until it was just Hina and Keitaro left. Haruka helped out to the best of her ability, but it soon became clear that the two of them weren't able to run the inn on their own, even with Haruka's help, but that they couldn't afford to hire more people without going into the red.

Grandma Hina was seriously considering closing the inn down completely, when Haruka handed her the newspaper she had been reading, pointing out a particular article in it. The article in question was about a fire which had destroyed Hinata's only Girls Dorm last night, stating the plight of the females therein.

Hina's sudden smile was glorious like the rising sun and after discussing it with both daughter and grandson, decided to turn the Hinata Sou into a Girls Dorm. The modifications needed were few and only two days later, the Hinata Sou reopened.

The first tenant was a girl named Konno Mitsune who had been staying at the dorm that just burned down. Apparently, she was also related to the old handyman Nanjiro, though her opinion of the old coot was even worse then Hina's own. Keitaro helped her move in as she was apparently estranged from her family. The only one who came to help her other then Keitaro, was a Kohai of hers from school, a real cutie named Narusegawa Naru.

Keitaro found Mitsune likeable enough, a fun-loving gal with a wry sense of humour. He had a feeling that the two of them would get along just fine.

Her cute friend did express some concerns regarding Keitaro working at a Girls Dorm, but Mitsune laughed it off and Keitaro merely shrugged, as he had mentioned some of those very same concerns to Hina when she put forth her idea. In the end, Naru decided to leave it be, convinced that Hina would keep him in line, if need be.

The next tenant was a bit of a surprise, coming as she did unannounced and on a day when Grandma Hina wasn't present. With her gone, Keitaro was cooking for himself, Haruka and Mitsune, when the kitchen door suddenly opened, revealing a very odd entourage.

"Uh... Hello?" Keitaro greeted the visitors, bowing deeply.

A tanned man in a western suit fronted the group, standing in a relaxed slouch as he observed his surroundings. Flanking him to his right, was a stately tanned blonde woman with a haughty expression. To his left, was a tanned curvy brunette who instantly focused a hungry gaze at Keitaro, who felt himself squirm under her scrutiny. Behind them stood another tanned blonde, though this was a young girl in her late teens, not yet a woman. She looked faintly curious, her head swivelling around as if she was searching for something.

"Yo." the man greeted him with a lazy wave. "You got rooms to rent?" he inquired.

"Uh, not anymore no. The inn closed down two weeks ago and we turned it into a Girls Dorm." Keitaro replied.

"Yes, I heard." the man agreed with a nod. "It's not for us, it's for my daughter who will be studying here in Japan for the next couple of years."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood." Keitaro apologized. "In that case, yes, we do have rooms for rent."

"Kaolla?" the blonde girl called out, looking frantically around the room, searching for someone or something.

"Hiyas!" a cheerful voice called out from behind him, Keitaro turned and then jumped backwards with a startled exclamation as he found himself practically nose-to-nose with a small blonde girl, even younger then the other girl. "Whatcha cookin'?" she asked, sitting on the bench and leaning forward over the stove, sniffing enthusiastically over the pot with her stomach letting out a loud growl.

A little too enthusiastically it turned out, as she toppled forward and fell face-first towards the stove.

"Ack! Watch out! That's hot!" Keitaro exclaimed and jumped forward, snatching her up and swinging her out of harms way. "Hey, are you all right?" he asked nervously, looking down at the kid in his arms.

"I like this one!" she suddenly announced. "I'm gonna stay here!" she declared as Keitaro put her down on the ground.

"And that would be my daughter, Kaolla." the man commented.

"Kaolla! I've told you time and time again to be more careful!" the blonde woman snapped.

"Tsk. She was all right. Thanks to Mr Heroic right here..." the brunette purred as she slithered over towards Keitaro, swinging her hips suggestively, wrapping her arms around him as she rubbed her ample chest against his back. "Hello, gorgeous. I'm Amara, Su Amara." she introduced herself. "Tight ends over there is Tamawa, my wife." she added, jerking a thumb at the blonde woman. "You've met my stepdaughter Kaolla, and that's my other stepdaughter, Amalla." she continued, introducing the two girls. "Oh, and that's my husband over there." she finished with an absent nod at the tanned man.

"Gah!" Keitaro cried out, disentangling himself from the clingy woman after the introductions were over and had registered in his mind. "Wife! Husband!" he exclaimed, looking over the odd threesome.

"We're from Molmol, cluster marriages are allowed under Molmoleese law." the husband explained. "Anyways, I see my little doll has taken a liking to you and you seem like a resourceful fellow, so I'll agree to let my daughter stay here."

"Dearest... Perhaps we should check out the rest of the locations on our list first?" Tamawa suggested with a faintly strained expression. "This... Establishment does not exactly inspire trust. Besides, whoever heard of a young male in charge of a Girls Dorm?" she hissed.

"Uh, actually I'm not." Keitaro interjected. "My grandmother runs this place, but she's out shopping at the moment. I'm just the handyman."

"But I like it here!" Kaolla exclaimed from the kitchen table, where she had seated herself and started stuffing her face with a banana from a small bowl of fruit, a pricy luxury the dorm could ill afford, but which Hina insisted on having none the less.

"Kaolla... Dear... We haven't even seen the rest of the..." Tamawa started to explain, only to be cut off.

"Tamawa... Dear... I like it here too!" Amara exclaimed with a pout, having snuck up on Keitaro and wrapped her arms around him again, nuzzling her cheeks against his neck.

"It seems adequate enough." their husband agreed. "I approve. Rawan! Arrange it." he added and a second man entered the room, nodding and plucking out a small hand-held computer. Keitaro was then subjected to a series of questions, had to sign no less then eight confusing documents which he hardly understood and two different non-disclosure agreements, before Rawan would tell him anything.

And what he told him blew Keitaro's mind!

A king! Queens! Princesses! In the kitchen of the Hinata Sou! And one of the Princesses would be living there while she went to a Japanese school!

And that was how Su Kaolla came to stay at the Hinata Sou, officially to study abroad as Japan had a better educational system then Molmol did. Though Kaolla had privately confessed to him later on, that this wasn't the real reason she herself had pushed for it. Apparently her own mother had engaged Kaolla to her adoptive brother. Later on, after the two of them had become even better friends, she had revealed that she was a genius, but hadn't dared to reveal that to her family, as she had been concerned that 'Tamawa-mom' would have had her shipped off to some stuffy school for gifted children if she had known just how intelligent really Kaolla was.

Keitaro had been sceptical at first, but after he'd seen what Kaolla had done to her room and some of the inventions she cooked up, he had to admit that Kaolla was by far the most intelligent person he'd ever met! He still couldn't understand how she had managed to turn the room into a jungle, taking up at least twenty times the amount of space the room had originally contained. Apparently, it had something to do with compressing matter, removing the tiny spaces between all atoms, electrons and whatnot.

He hadn't understood more then a few words of her explanation, but as far as he understood it, whatever entered the room shrunk as those tiny spaces between miniscule particles were temporarily removed, or at least greatly decreased. He wasn't sure and hadn't dared asked for clarification, as her 'simple' explanation had been confusing enough as it was!

And the fusion reactor... Well, he hadn't even dared to ask how she'd built that! He was just grateful that he'd managed to persuade her to divert some of the energy it generated to supply electricity to the rest of the Hinata Sou, thus saving them a bundle on electricity bills.

The arrival of the next tenant, gave him another shock.

Once again, he had found himself alone in charge, as Grandma Hina had travelled south to visit a hot spring renowned for its supposed healing properties. He was hard at work in changing the front door, as the old one had been broken after one of Kaolla's greeting kicks had launched him through it and turned it into so much splintered firewood, so he hadn't taken note the girl walking up behind him until she spoke up.

"You there. Male!" an annoyed female voice interjected into his distracted musings regarding what to cook for supper as he worked, causing him to look up and turn around, spotting an unfamiliar female in a white Gi and scarlet Hakama carrying two large suitcases, staring haughtily at him.

"Oh, hello." he greeted her, offering a low bow.

"Is this the Hinata Sou Girls Dormitory?" she asked.

"Yes. Yes it is. I'm Urashima Keitaro, the landlord's grandson and resident handyman." he introduced himself. "Are you looking for a room?" he asked.

"Yes, I am. I am Aoyama Motoko. Can you direct me to the landlord?" she responded haughtily.

"She's on a vacation at the moment, so I'm her proxy for the time being." Keitaro replied, wiping sweat off his brow. "Come on in." he offered and looked at her suitcases. "May I help you with those, Aoyama-san?" he inquired politely, wiping his hands on the towel slung over his bare shoulders. He blinked as he realized his current state of dress, as he had been working topless in the oppressive summer heat. He nervously wiped sweat off his torso, then hastily scrambled into his t-shirt, smiling apologetically at the new arrival, who just kept on glaring at him.

"No, you may not." she replied icily, shaking her head. "Very well, I suppose you will have to do. Lead the way, Urashima-san."

"All right, Aoyama-san." he replied, then led the way to his grandmothers room, offering her a seat at the table, as he prepared a pot of tea for the two of them while telling Motoko about the Hinata Sou, the rates, the rules and whatnot. Not that there were very many rules, as Grandma Hina was a fairly laid-back individual who believed strongly in personal freedom.

Other then that the annex was a forbidden area, that anyone who didn't desire to take co-ed baths would have to put up a sign on the door to the onsen dressing room declaring which gender would currently have access to it, that some chores were shared and that nobody was allowed to use heavy weaponry, explosives or incendiary devices in the main building ( an addition that had been made after Kaolla had arrived ), there weren't any real rules, other then some special provisions due to Kaolla being a resident. There were no curfews, no boyfriend bans, no smoking bans, no drinking bans and nothing else of the sort one might have expected from such a place.

"I find this acceptable." Motoko announced after a few moments. "Though I wonder about the rule regarding the hot spring. Is not this an exclusively female dorm?"

"There are boyfriends, male relatives and others visiting from time to time." Keitaro replied. /Or at least the possibility thereof./ he mentally added, as neither Kitsune nor Kaolla had boyfriends, as far as he knew. Kaolla hadn't had a single visitor over so far and Kitsune had only invited her drinking buddies around once, for a combined soak and drinking session.

Narusegawa had come by to visit a couple of times however.

"And there's me, of course." Keitaro added with a faint shrug. "I thought it would be prudent to add that rule, for those that may have concerns regarding such matters." he explained, then frowned. "Not that Kaolla, Kitsune, Hina and Haruka ever respects the sign when I put it up..." he grumbled, recalling several times when he'd put the sign up declaring the bath off limits to women, only to have one or more of the others join him anyway!

Hina and Haruka, because they didn't think it mattered as they were related. Kaolla because he was 'fun' to be around. Kitsune also because he was 'fun' to be around, though the hungry glimmer in her eyes whenever she said 'fun' made him incredibly nervous in a way that Kaolla never did!

"I shall respect the sign and I expect the same courtesy from you!" Motoko declared firmly.

"Of course, Aoyama-san." Keitaro agreed instantly. "I would never dream of doing otherwise. You have my word of honour."

"Honour? From a male?" she snorted dismissively, as if such a thing was an impossibility. Keitaro just barely managed to keep his mouth shut at that incredibly offensive statement and took several sips of his tea, giving himself time to calm down.

"Would my word as a Martial Artist satisfy you?" he asked after a few moments of consideration, taking in her outfit, posture and general bearing. She definitively carried herself as a practitioner of one or more Martial Arts.

"You practise the Arts?" Motoko inquired after a few moments.

"I'm a 3rd Kyu in Motobu Ha Ryu Karate and Shodan in Shinkage Ryu Kendo. I'm also 2nd Kyu in the Urashima Ryu, my family school, which I recently started practising again." Keitaro replied with a faint nod. He was grateful that he'd been able to keep up his practice and even expand upon it, since coming to the Hinata Sou. Grandma Hina and Aunt Haruka, had even devoted some of their time to teaching him the family style since he started living here, which he hadn't received any training in since he was eight.

"A respectable accomplishment." Motoko reluctantly replied. "Very well, I shall accept your word of honour." she added. The 'until proven otherwise' wasn't voiced, but it didn't have to be, as it was clearly evident from her disbelieving gaze.

"Excuse me for asking, Aoyama-san, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But... I sense that you have a problem with the male gender and I can't help but wonder if this will be a problem during your stay?" Keitaro inquired. "If it is, I'm sure I can assist you in finding accommodations elsewhere that will be more to your liking. There are no other girls' dorms in Hinata. But I know of several in the nearby wards that I have frequent contact with, as we occasionally help each other out during major renovations and other similar occasions when the tenants have to be temporarily relocated." he offered and Motokos glare eased up somewhat.

She appeared to ponder his offer for almost a full minute, before coming to a decision.

"Thank you, but no thank you, Urashima-san. I apologise for my rude behaviour. I have had some problems with males in the past, but you seem a different brand of male entirely. I shall wait and see. If it does become a problem, I will reconsider your kind offer." she managed to get out, though the apology/confession was hard to make and she almost seemed to stumble over the 'kind' part.

He absently wondered what her problem was, but didn't think this was the time to ask. Perhaps later, when they'd gotten to know each other better. That is, if they ever would, as it didn't seem all that likely judging from her behaviour.

"Very well, then." Keitaro responded and handed Motoko a thin folder. "All you need to know can be found herein, as well as some papers for you to sign if you do decide to stay here."

"Can I move in today?" she inquired, opening the folder.

"Uh... Sure, I guess." he replied, wondering what the rush was. "We have plenty of rooms to spare, I just need a few minutes to clean whichever one you decide upon and then you're free to move in."

Motoko signed the contract and a Molmoleese non-disclosure agreement they had been forced to include after Kaolla's arrival, thought the young princess never made an issue of her status and was never treated as anything else then a normal little girl, albeit one that would occasionally invent something incredibly dangerous. Keitaro gave Motoko a tour around the place and showed her the free rooms, one of which she claimed as her own the moment she was shown it. Keitaro nodded at her choice. It was a good one, slightly larger then most of the others. It was even bigger then Grandma Hina's room and divided into two sections.

Motoko did avoid him most of the time, but she soon came to accept his presence. Her attitude and condescending mannerisms grated on his nerves somewhat, but he was grateful that at least she respected the sign when he hung it up, even if nobody else did. Kaolla also took a quick liking to the older girl, which was a great relief for Keitaro and Kitsune, who had previously shared the responsibility and pain of sleeping with her. A few weeks after Motoko's arrival, Kaolla spent at least four or five nights a week sleeping with Motoko, dividing the rest of the time between Keitaro and Kitsune.

The next tenant was somewhat of a surprise, though not entirely unexpected as Kitsune had kept him updated on her friends situation at home and revealed that Narusegawa Naru had wanted to get away from her home. What was surprising about it, was that Naru had decided to come to Hinata Sou instead of seeking accommodations elsewhere. After all, she had been sceptical of Keitaro's presence at the Hinata Sou ever since Kitsune moved in and her views on that particular matter hadn't changed one bit.

But with her arrival, the calm before the storm which they had all enjoyed so far, finally dissipated entirely, as if some Deity of Chaos had just awaited the arrival of the final piece of the puzzle, before its full attention could be devoted to the Hinata Sou...

The End! ( For now... )


	2. Two

Handyman Keitaro PG-13  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: What if Keitaro was kicked out of his parents place earlier, back when the Hinata Sou was still an inn and Grandma Hina still ran the place?

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Handyman Keitaro'

Motoko signed the contract and a Molmoleese non-disclosure agreement they had been forced to include after Kaolla's arrival, thought the young princess never made an issue of her status and was never treated as anything else then a normal little girl, albeit one that would occasionally invent something incredibly dangerous. Keitaro gave Motoko a tour around the place and showed her the free rooms, one of which she claimed as her own the moment she was shown it. Keitaro nodded at her choice. It was a good one, slightly larger then most of the others. It was even bigger then Grandma Hina's room and divided into two sections.

Motoko did avoid him most of the time, but she soon came to accept his presence. Her attitude and condescending mannerisms grated on his nerves somewhat, but he was grateful that at least she respected the sign when he hung it up, even if nobody else did. Kaolla also took a quick liking to the older girl, which was a great relief for Keitaro and Kitsune, who had previously shared the responsibility and pain of sleeping with her. A few weeks after Motoko's arrival, Kaolla spent at least four or five nights a week sleeping with Motoko, dividing the rest of the time between Keitaro and Kitsune.

The next tenant was somewhat of a surprise, though not entirely unexpected as Kitsune had kept him updated on her friends situation at home and revealed that Narusegawa Naru had wanted to get away from her home. What was surprising about it, was that Naru had decided to come to Hinata Sou instead of seeking accommodations elsewhere. After all, she had been sceptical of Keitaro's presence at the Hinata Sou ever since Kitsune moved in and her views on that particular matter hadn't changed one bit.

But with her arrival, the calm before the storm which they had all enjoyed so far, finally dissipated entirely, as if some Deity of Chaos had just awaited the arrival of the final piece of the puzzle, before its full attention could be devoted to the Hinata Sou...

Roll credits

* * *

Chapter Two:

"Ah, Keitaro-san. Welcome!" the ever cheerful voice of the youngest Maehara greeted Keitaro as he entered her parent's place of business.

"Hello, Shinobu-chan." Keitaro said, offering a kind smile to the young girl, which for some odd reason caused her gaze to dip down and her cheeks to flush. Kitsune, Haitani and Shirai were insisting that the girl had a crush on him, but Keitaro found it highly improbable. Besides, she was way too young for him, so even if it were true there was hardly anything he could do about it.

"Is Hina-san on another trip?" the young girl asked, as the residents of Hinata Sou hardly ever ordered out when the old woman was around.

"Yeah." Keitaro sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Business had taken off at Haruka's tea house lately and thus, he was more or less on his own whenever Grandma Hina decided to take a couple of days off, which happened more and more frequently. That had led to him ordering out more and more, which was how he'd formed a tentative friendship with young Shinobu. "She went to Hokkaido, some resort there apparently has water that's supposed to be good for both skin and fertility." he continued.

The woman was a hardcore bathing freak, quite happily gallivanting off to seek out whatever miraculous cure-it-all she'd most recently heard of. She was even a member of the board of directors for The Hot Spring Association, some mysterious interest group devoted to creating a complete catalogue of all the worlds various hot springs, cold springs, mountain streams, oasis', lakes, underground rivers, geysers and whatever that supposedly contained water with some miraculous property.

"Fe-f-f-f-fertility!" Shinobu squeaked and Keitaro nodded gravely. He had gotten a few disturbing mental images himself after hearing that in connection with Grandma Hina, so he THOUGHT that he understood Shinobu's shock. Though he didn't really, as the mental images she got, were quite different from his own. Whereas he did his best to try and avoid thinking about fertility and Granny Hina in combination, Shinobu had hazy images of herself and Keitaro kissing passing through her mind, as that was the extent of what she knew about human reproduction at this time in her life. A man and woman kissed, they got married and soon after that, babies somehow entered the picture. She knew that fertility came into play somewhere, but wasn't quite sure how. Perhaps it was a measure of how well one kissed or something?

"Ah, Urashima-kun. I have your order right here." Shinobu's father announced as he strode into the reception, hefting two plastic bags emitting the most delightful of smells. The food here was as always, as close to perfection as humanly possible. The man was a master chef, his wife only slightly behind in talent.

"Thank you, Maehara-san." Keitaro said as he accepted the delivery, handing over a wad of cash in return. He received a simple nod in response before the man returned to the kitchen. Keitaro hung around for another minute chatting with Shinobu, before he hurried back to the Hinata Sou.

* * *

"Good evening, everybody." Keitaro greeted the tenants and aunt Haruka as he entered the kitchen, which was the site for the impromptu house council he'd called earlier. "Sorry I'm late, but I had to arrange a few last-minute details regarding the very matter I called you here to talk about." he explained as he took his seat at the end of the table, one usually reserved for Grandma Hina, but which he used during the times he functioned as her replacement.

Such was the case now, as Grandma Hina had went to Australia to try some pond in the outback which was supposed to be very good for the bones, hers had been troubling her for the last couple of years so she was more eager then usual to sample this one. Though this trip was longer then any other she had undertaken since he first came to live at the Hinata Sou, she was supposed to be gone for two entire weeks this time.

"With Golden Week coming up, a lot of dorms are taking this opportunity to make some badly needed restorations. Most of their tenants are going home for the week, but some are not. As the Hinata Sou has little need for any such work to be done, I've agreed to house some of those tenants who won't be going home, but can't stay at their dorms because of the renovations." Keitaro explained and took a deep breath. "So we will be housing three other girls during next week. But what I wanted to ask you girls is this. Would you consider letting a guy in as well?" he asked and hastily continued as he saw signs of extremely annoyed expressions starting to form on the girls faces. "I've done some background checks on him and he seems to be a guys studying at a respectable school. No complaints from his current or former landlord. I asked the Molmoleese embassy for help and they did some research of their own. No criminal records and the embassy offered to supply us with female guards for his stay, if you felt a need for them." he finished, before gesturing to show that he was awaiting their thoughts on the matter.

"If he's cute, I don't mind. It just means that there's more eye-candy for me." Kitsune commented with a sultry smile. "No need for you to get jealous however, you're still my favourite dish, Keitaro." she added with a wink.

"Mitsune-sempai!" Motoko protested, blushing furiously, as she always did whenever Kitsune made a sexually laden comment in her presence. Which, Keitaro suspected, was half the reason Kitsune made them in the first place, as she seemed to thrive on teasing the shit out of her fellow tenants... And her friends... And her relatives... And complete strangers... "I feel we have quite enough males around the place as it is!" Motoko added, 'More then we need, in fact!' was unvoiced, but somehow understood anyway.

"I don't mind. All the more playmates for me!" Kaolla exclaimed cheerfully.

"With mom gone, you're the manager. I don't care one way or the other." Haruka commented. "I don't even live here, so I don't know why you called me over in the first place." she added, puffing on her cigarette.

"Well, if it's just for one week..." Naru said, wavering in her decision. "Well, I don't mind. But at the first sign of perverted behaviour, I'm tossing him out here!" she finally stated.

"There won't be a need for that. Because if he can't behave during his stay, I'll throw him headfirst down the stairs myself." Keitaro firmly replied. "I'd really appreciate it if you guys would respect the sign while he's here, though, so he doesn't get the wrong idea about this place." he added, with a pointed look at Kitsune and Kaolla.

"Aw, you party-pooper!" Kitsune complained.

"But... But... I like bathing with Keitaro!" Kaolla protested. "It's not fair."

"Please, Kaolla. It's just one week." Keitaro pleaded and Su caved in, not wanting to disappoint him.

"Oh, all right. But you owe me bananas! Lots and lots and lots of bananas!" she insisted with a disappointed pout.

"Why are you so gung-ho about all this, Keitaro-san?" Naru inquired suspiciously. "Hoping to finally get in some peeping, with a distraction around the place to keep us busy?"

"It's good money, as he's from a quite expensive dorm that will be paying us the same amount they would charge themselves for a week." Keitaro admitted, choosing to ignore the blatant insult to himself. "With Hina gone so much lately and us ordering take-out so often, we spend a lot more money on food then we otherwise do, so the coffers could use some extra padding as that would allow us to keep the rates at their current level." he explained, which settled the issue, though Naru and Motoko still didn't look all that pleased about it.

* * *

"Everybody, these are our new guests." Keitaro replied and indicated the four individuals he led into the living room, where the others were seated and awaiting introductions. He'd headed down to the train station to pick all of them up, as all four of them had arrived on trains just minutes apart. "This is Foster Tina, she's a Creative Arts student. She's an American, but has grown up in Japan and spent more time here then she has in America." he started and gestured at a tall blonde gaijin, who nodded and bowed to the long-time residents. "Otohime Mutsumi, she's from Okinawa and is only staying in town for a few weeks, before she'll go back to her home. She's a Todai aspirant as well as a two time Ronin, just like me." he continued and a smiling brunette bowed in response. "Hitose Kaede, she's a Sociology student from Nekotomi." he continued and the last girl, a black-haired slender beauty dressed in a conservative business suit bowed to the room.

Keitaro took a deep breath and the last person moved out from behind the three girls, causing Keitaro to swallow nervously as the temperature in the room felt as it dropped a couple of degrees.

"And this is Kuonji Ukyo. He's still in junior high where he's preparing for a later education in business, so he can start up his own Okonomiyaki restaurant." Keitaro finished and the last person bowed to the collected females in the room, raising a few eyebrows as he carried a huge spatula strapped to his back. Keitaro held his peace for a few seconds and as no violence had broken out, he decided to move along.

"This is Urashima Haruka, she runs the Hinata Tea-Shop just down the stairs from here. She's also my aunt and helps out around this place from time to time." Keitaro replied and indicated his aunt Haruka. "Konno Mitsune, she's a free-lance writer, photographer and resident party animal." he continued and Kitsune rose from her seat, offering a faint bow.

"Please, call me Kitsune. Everybody does." she cheerfully announced, just barely managing to restrain herself from licking her lips at the sight of Ukyo. He was a real cutie!

"Aoyama Motoko, the heir to the Shinmei Ryu of Kyoto although she goes to school here." Keitaro continued and wondered about the odd expression on Motoko's face. He'd expected her to be somewhat confrontational and hostile, but instead she was looking at Ukyo with what seemed more like a curious expression. "Su Kaolla, the reason why you had to sign all those non-disclosure and secrecy agreements. She's the youngest princess of Molmol, here in Japan to complete her education." he continued and Kaolla bounced up from her seat and leapt onto his shoulders, greeting the new guests with a cheerful 'Hiyas!', completely destroying their idea of what the princess they'd heard about would be like.

"Narusegawa Naru, one of the top students in the country. She'll be going to Tokyo University after she's aced the exams." he added with a small smile directed at Naru. "The actual landlord is Urashima Hina, my grandmother, but she's abroad like I've told you guys before. So if you have any problems during your stay, come to me or Haruka with them." Keitaro finished and turned to face the new temporary residents. "Any questions?" he inquired and was met by four shaking heads. "All right then, come along and I'll show you to your rooms." he offered and the four of them grabbed their bags, offered one last collective bow to the other residents and then scurried after Keitaro, who was still carrying Kaolla on his shoulders.

* * *

"Hello, Otohime-san. Foster-san." Keitaro greeted the two girls in question, as he met them at the stairs leading up to the Hinata Sou.

"Hello. And it's Tina. Tina!" Foster Tina, the energetic foreigner insisted, which caused Keitaro to blush faintly. While he understood that the customs in America were vastly different from how they were here and that it wasn't a big deal for her to be called by her first name, it was for him! Especially as they'd only known each other for half a day. The temporary tenants had arrived on Sunday afternoon and settled in, then he'd met them again at breakfast, then he hadn't seen any of them again until now when he met two of the girls.

He had invited Ukyo to take a bath with him at the barrel while the girls used the onsen to get aquainted, but the younger boy had declined, pleading tiredness.

"Hello, Urashima-kun." Mutsumi cheerfully greeted him. "How has your day been?" she asked.

"It was great! It's been a while since I had some actual free time." Keitaro enthused. What with his studies and work at the Hinata Sou, he didn't get much spare time and what little he did get, he usually just took advantage of to get some well-needed rest. Being able to spend most of the day on nothing but himself was a very welcome luxury. "How have you two been enjoying your time off?" he inquired.

"Oh, I had lots of fun!" Tina exclaimed, raising her fist towards the skies. "Found some very nice Sake and someone willing to sell it to me!" she revealed and raised a bag, the contents of which would probably make her Kitsune's new best friend.

"Oh, it was very enjoyable." Mutsumi agreed. "I found several photo booths I hadn't come across before and got some new pictures for my collection. I also discovered a marvellous little beef bowl joint and accidentally caused three traffic accidents!"

"Three traf... Ah, how... Nice." Keitaro managed to get out, eyeing the ditzy girl a little suspiciously, before what she had said before that made its way to his conscious mind. "Photo booths? You're a collector, Otohime-san?" he asked, intrigued that he might have come across somebody else with the same hobby.

"Yes!" she cheerfully replied. "I found an ultra-rare one with a light purple Tokyo Tower border!"

"From the machine at the coffee shop? Yeah, I nearly had a stroke when I found that one!" Keitaro enthused and the two of them instantly leapt into a conversation about their respective collections and all the rare finds they'd manage to collect over the years, while Tina made a decent impression of somebody in the audience of a tennis match, as she looked from one to the other and then back, over and over again.

"Brrr! Otaku warning..." Tina finally whispered with a fierce shudder and slowly backed away from the two fanatics, so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't even notice that she slowly extracted herself from it and headed up the long stairs leading to the Hinata Sou. "Like two peas in a pod..." she muttered to herself and shook her head.

They had seemed to be such good people too!

Otohime was a native Okinawa:n who was spending a couple of weeks in Tokyo being tutored in algebra and participating in some medical experiment during Golden Week. Apparently the poor thing suffered from a weak physical condition and earned some extra money for her studies and medical bills by participating in this experiment.

She hadn't met the girl before coming to the Hinata Sou, but she'd taken a liking to her during last evening's bath when the newcomers had acquainted themselves with the long-time residents. The two of them had bumped into each other while out sight-seeing in Hinata and walked together back to the Hinata Sou.

Mutsumi was a very friendly, fun-loving and likable girl, no doubt about that. Though Tina had to admit that she'd never seen somebody quite so accident-prone as Mutsumi. The poor dear had caused a twelve-car pile-up on the way back, when she became faint and staggered into an intersection before she collapsed. Amazingly, nobody had been seriously hurt and just over a minute after she fainted, Mutsumi was conscious, up and about again, showing no signs of her fainting spell.

And now she'd apparently found her soul mate or something, judging by how intent the two of them were on their freakish conversation.

Tina shuddered again and thanked both higher and lower powers that neither she or Kaoru were quite as obsessed over anything. Though she had been considering going on a world-spanning photography journey, it would be both for the photo opportunities and the chance to do some soul searching. So while she too had a certain interest in photography, it certainly wasn't this all-consuming interest that those two nutters she just left behind shared with each other.

Kaoru wasn't like that either. In fact, she wasn't even sure that he had an interest in photography or if he just stuck around the club because she'd just drag him right back in if he tried to defect.

She sighed as the Hinata Sou came into view and she slowly cleared the last couple of steps. Kaoru was such a stick in the mud! She'd asked him if he'd be willing to put her up for a week, but instead that sneak had made some calls and arranged for her to stay here, at no extra cost. It was a bit disappointing, but also somewhat of a relief. While staying together with him would have offered plenty of opportunities to catch his interest and mayhap land herself a cute boyfriend, the prospect of that also intimidated her a fair bit.

Perhaps it was for the best that she'd gotten to stay here at the Hinata Sou, after all.

She entered the building, kicked off her shoes and announced her arrival.

"I'm home! And I've got booze!" she cheerfully proclaimed.

"Woho! Let's party tonight!" came a loud outcry from a ways off, which long-time residents would be able to identify as Kitsune's.

"Yeah! Tina is in the house!" Tina bellowed.

She'd show all these others how to party!

The End! ( For now... )


End file.
